fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
