But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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