So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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