It's like a parade of train wrecks.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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