you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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