She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize