I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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