i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
