my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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