I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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