I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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