3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize