I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize