butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You can't just leave with hair like that
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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