Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
