this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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