Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Couch. On fire.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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