Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
