you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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