I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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