there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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