Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
