Joe is yelling at the trees again.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
