after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.