so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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