i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize