accomplished twins. life is a go
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
