there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
