i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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