i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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