Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
