Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I sprained my soul last night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
