you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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