Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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