Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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