I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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