Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
