i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
