i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
