I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize