Cold hands, warm shart.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
babies were throwing up all over the place
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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