I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
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Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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