Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
