brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
