hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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