He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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