I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
