i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
