So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
