Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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