why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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