i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
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You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
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I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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