i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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