I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
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He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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