Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
